Workshop Feedback
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I am grateful and surprised to be alive, and still have all my faculties. After 1 heart attack, 1 stroke, fatal knee replacement and secondary replacement, I am really surprised that my brain processes have not been damaged.
I have been most grateful that this has not happened to any degree.
Most of my problems are physical and are faintly changing due to having progressive arthritis. Frustration, Pain, Anger, Dependence on other people are all things which must be beaten every day.
Self motivation is to be acheived by possitive thinking.
Depression must be fought everyday. In other words, look on the bright side, help yourself by helping others. Don't think about what things used to be. Face what is now and what can be changed for tomorrow.
If you really try yourself you will find many people who are more than willing to help you get along. Many become friends you would neverhav known if you hadn't been injured. I have many friends now that I never had before. I volunteered to teach reading and G.E.D. test applicants. They say if you can learn to walk, we can learn to read, or math, or other. Therefore, I will walk this time!
I have made a conscious effort to put the bad feelings out of my life and develop a helpful outgoing personality.
Nobody loves a shince! Nobody wnats to be around a cry baby-so pull up the straps and go on.
L Johnston
It is confusing not remebering people you've known for years. Trying to figure out what happened to cause all the confusion. Working hard at getting back to my normal ruteen. That may never happen. It is also hard to beleive that I had a stroke at the age of 28. Learning to realize that it has happened is the hardest part.
Gregory K. Tackett
Before my accident I was grateful to be alive but it was for all the wrong reasons, but after the accident, I was grateful for so much more than I even knew.
I couldn't beleive how much people would stare just because you were in a wheelchair and you felt like putting a sign on your chair explainig what happened and if they had any questions to go ahead and ask rather than stare. the fact that I lost control of every bit of my body just totally flatened me, it screwed up emotions, put a big ???? on my relationship and I have said things I can never take back.
My spiritual beliefs are alot greater know and could never go back to the way I was and getting poeple to understand that is really hard unless they go through it themselves.
Since my accident I have a need to stay clean and watch what I'm doing
Paul Thomas
I am frustrated most because people don't understand my pain. I am frustrated most because I don't remember anything. Since my injury, my spiritual beliefs haven't changed. I really don't know the details of my injuries-other than what I've been told. Since my injury, I have a calling to find meaning about why I was hurt, why I was the one who was injured. My dreams are to get a job, to get my arms and legs working. I want others to know how painful it is to survive a TBI.
I try to forget everything, one time after my injury my spirituality changed. The doctor said I died 2 times. For me, I was ready to go home, but I stayed here for my family. There's a reason for this, I don't know what it is.
Before I got hurt, I didn't care, I thought I'd be gone a long time ago.
I know there are things wrong, but I can't say anytimes. I feel sorry for kids, old people. they way life is now.
I used to have so many friends. All the sudden they were gone. When I first got hurt my people were there. One year or past they forgot who I was, They don't care anymore. Its ot their fault. I used to drink too much. I don't do that anymore. To me its a good lesson I feel sorry for other people in the hospital. For me, I take care of myself. I take care of myself.
I can't believe anyone would help me. Right here is fine, when I get home-that's when I feel like another person. I don't care anymore. I feel like a dead guy when I just sit there.
My name is Carolyn Joyce Runyan and up to 1 year ago I was on top of the world I though t even though I had suffered for 15 years with Addison's Disease & Diabetes. My Dr. told me that I had to have spinal cord surgery. (Much to my chagrin) A consulting Dr. agreed- I pleaded with my Neuro surgeon to listen-because I was "DIFFERENT"- Addison's & Diabetes made me very vulnerable- "A BIG RISK" I was assured that I would be up, back to work and walking in 6 weeks. As of today, I have been through 3 major surgeries-withdrawal (cold turkey) from pain pills-???Vein Thrombosis-and a myriad of other medical emergiencies. I not only have and will not be able to work a job that I loved-education assistant, so my life has changed drastically. My husband and I traveled so I feel so angered that I can't travel right now-but I will. I do feel very grateful to be alive-however I am frustrated that I've always lived a decent life and of course-why me?? I am working hard in therapy and with God's help, who, along with my family's support. I will WALK- I have too many dreams to give up now!!
~thanks to all who are helping me reach my dreams
The loneliness is the worst. Disappointment- you give up everything. Not being able to do the things I used to. Missing my children-not beign a mom anymore. I am frustrated most because I can't do things for myself. That bothers me more than anything. Since my injury, my spiritual beliefs have increased. I don't have any future dreams.
When thinking honestly about being grateful to be alive I must say that sometimes I do question my gratefulness. I was taught to be thankful for whatever I had as a child, and I feel that I for many years I saw only the good, but after my roll over accident I have experienced alot of anger and frustration with what this accident has caused me to look at. At times it is very easy to feel like a victim-I don't wnat to feel like a victim but I don't understand why this happened. I've lived through many trials before & as I got through them I felt stronger and even more determined to live but this one really seemed to rob me of my strength and courage to continue. My confidence did not come back right away as it did before. I found I could not seem to concentrate. I cried alot. I couldn't find things that I knew I had I was afraid to drive I couldn't stand to hear the sounds of just everyday things that went on in my classroom. The children were not easy to understand and I didin't have the patience that I once had. I felt that my career with young children was over. I was devastated since that is all I had ever wanted to do. ( I was not yet aware of why all this was happening, my TBI was not diagnosed yet)
I decided that I would quite teaching and go back to school. My first few weeks at school were great. My mind was very stimulated. It was exciting to learn new information and to be in such an enriching environment (It was new). As time went on, I couldn't seem to keep up with readng assignments because I would fall asleep very easily. When I would try to study in the library I couldn't concentrate on what I wa doing because I could hear all the conversations that were going on around me. One day I was on the 3rd floor of the library & became very dizzy & just needed to get out. I felt kind of panicked so I went home to just relax. that night I decided to call my doctor. He said I sounded like I was being anxious about school. We then started trying different medications for anxiety and depression. None of the med. seemed to be agreeable to me. I decided something was wrong more than depression and anxiety so I decided to talk to other doctors & so I went to Boulder to do some testing. From the tests it seemed very possible that some parts of my brain could have been traumatized or affected by the rollover accident. Depression and anxiety are difinitely things I have to deal with at this time.
I get frustrated and fearful about the future-what will I do for a career- how will I support myself if Billy is not around.
I have improved tremendously since my diagnosis. I have been receiving cognitive retraining and biofeedback for the last couple of years, which have been helpful. Now my 5 year time limit on my insurance coverage is up so I am not sure about what is next. I guess this is where I really will put my faith that God has me in his care needs to be putin practice. Talking about trust and really trusting are two very different issues. I have talked about trust before, but now I must do it! I see this as my goal right now. So I guess when I think about all that has gone on in the past 5 years this spiritual awakening is what I really have to be grateful for. When I think about all the good I have a lot. When I think about my frustrations I have many of them too. I am working on acknowledging my frustrations-do what I can to help myself and then to let them go. Replacing my fearful thoughts with trusting and loving thoughts has been ________.
I want to get better as quick as I can. My kids are alot more knowledgable since my accident. I know now that I am not invincable. (like I thought before) I am glad that my kids and husband can still see me alive.
I want to have everything like it was except for the chance of an accident occurring again. I am excited about going home and getting completely better. Sometimes I wish I could remember how the accident happened So I will not have it happen again (if I can avoid it.) Home is 1st, school and work comes in 2nd now. It didin't used to but after the bad things that has happened, priorities have changed. That is good though. It probably needed to be that way from the beginning but it could of taken this to show me that.
Trina Fritsche