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This art piece was created by seven members of the SHARE (Surviving Head Injury and Recovering Equilibrium) Support Group in Grand Junction, CO. The composition directly portrays one group's experience of life after sustaining traumatic brain injury (TBI).
"This past few days Mike Goduto, Anne Weaver, Alisa Palomba, Donald Hackley, and a few other of us head injured people met and worked with Bittin Foster to put our experiences living through and with our injuries. We put our heads together to create a little piece of ART to show how we feel living in this stage in our lives . From our comatose state through our rise to health and beyond into HEAVEN."
~ Written by Marty Jimenez, May 7, 1995
The composition of this art piece is carried upward towards the sun, traveling along the fifteen figures rising from the depths of the sea. The figures travel the colors of the rainbow, touching red three times. Starting at the bottom right corner, the first four figures represent life before injury. A starfish rests in the bottom left corner of "Life before". The Red one is going along content and possibly unaware of life's beauty. The second Orange one symbolizes the sulking, head-hanging low quality of unhappiness. The third, Yellow figure is stretching out, striving for more, making extra efforts to climb upwards. The fourth Gray figure is closed in, possibly scared and alone. The fifth Gray figure symbolizes the comatose state that most of the group members experienced. Waters below are dark and churning with uncertainty. Red is also in the nearby waters as one participant had blood flowing from her eye, and she dreamed of blood flowing in water around her. Recovery begins on the surface of the ocean when the person recovering from TBI learns to be human again, starting often with the first movements of a crawling infant. A Green figure starts the seemingly flat, yet constant road of acute recovery. The bold gesture of the Blue figure sits in a wheelchair, a necessary reality if one has hemi-paralysis or severe balance difficulties. Most can achieve the next step of walking with the assistance of crutches (or a walker) for a period of time. Although crutches were omitted by the completion of the painting process, the Purple figure represents this partial regaining of independence. The Red one represents the joyful day when one can walk unassisted (or with a cane). The Orange figure runs with a new freedom, overcoming the organic limitations that brain injury often imposes on the human body. The journey of living with TBI is an upward climb towards the light of God and new freedom and appreciation. The first figure of this portion is Yellow with fatigue. Along with newfound quality of life, a newfound realization of fatigue plagues almost all who have sustained TBI. The Green figure reaches a hand to offer support to the friend below. The Blue friend above is also providing support and understanding to others' unique situations. The Purple figure above offers encouragement to those still on their initial journey upwards. A community of support and compassion is created by those committed to traveling the difficult, yet rewarding, path upwards. The Red figure stands on top of the mountain, in front of the sun, realizing the light of life. The sun is held by the golden hand of God, as rays penetrate onto individual life situations below. The mountains below hold symbolic images; a lamb of God stands on the left hillside. A tree shelters a figure sitting, representing the many who stray off the upward path and get stopped on their life journey of self realization. The mountain on the right is the setting for three fruit trees, symbolizing the fruitfulness of life that is always available. The clouds are present to symbolize the ever present possibility of being covered by the shadows of life.
"It is easy in the world
to follow the world's opinions;
It is easy in solitude to follow our own;
but the great man is he
who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness
the independence of solitude."
"Happiness and loneliness,
like the seas, ebb and flow."
"If a man {woman} does not keep pace with his {her} companions, perhaps it is because he {she} hears a different drummer. Let him {her} step to the music he {she} hears, however measured or far away."
"To live your life in your own way...
To reach for the goals you have set for yourself...
To be the you that you want to be...
That is success."
" Life is a Quilt"
The fabrics in your life are varied just like the fabrics of a quilt. Some are dark times, while some are bright. Some are monotonous and some show life and vitality and love. Your favorite fabric or your favorite period in life wouldn't look very pretty without the contrast of the other times. There are pieces that are not straight and may be a bit out of whack, but there are strong pieces and times that surround those and compensate for them. Are there mistakes in the quilt or your life? Sure, but they're all sewed together now in a unique design and we don't want to go back and change it. Your quilt is not finished. More fabrics will be added, and we don't know yet what they'll be. We do need to praise our Master Designer for the creation we have been so far, and then trust Him to finish it as only He knows is best for us.
Janyce McGrath
"Far better it is to dare mighty things to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat"
Theodore Roosevelt
AND GOD SAID NO
I asked God to take away my pride and God said "No."
He said it was not for him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole, and God said "No."
He said her spirit is whole, her body is only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience, and God said, "No."
He said patience is a by product of tribulation, it isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness, and God said "No."
He said He gives blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain, and God said, "No."
He said "Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me."
I asked God to make my spirit grow, and God said, "No."
He said I must grow on my own, but He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked God if he loved me, and God said "Yes."
He gave his only Son who died for me, and I will be in heaven someday because I believe.
I asked God to help me love others, as much as He loves me, and God said,
"Ah finally, you have the idea."
Claudia Minden Weisz
THE UPWARD WAY
As I visit my friends at L.A.P. I perceive that some have taken quite a rap.
But I see on each smiling face God's wonderful love and grace-
For they are determined over battles to win,
Not to give up and throw the towel in!
For some find odd jobs to do
and make a few dollars too!
While others paint or do crafts as their skills,
Forgetting about all their aches and ills.
They are an inspiration to any and all
Who on these dear ones wish to call.
I just say to all you people at the center,
I'm proud of you for the events you enter!
And to me it almost seems
that you are fulfilling you dreams.
I know you'll be rewarded in heaven in a way
that even gold and silver can never repay.
Love,
Your Friend, Viola
Introduction
Written Tuesday 1/27/92 6:00-8:30 a.m.- with a break in the middle to eat.
Due to the bicycle accident on August 23, 1990, I was unable to finish the combination report of 640 and 650 as originally planned. I wanted to use the analogy of two wheels on a bicycle to combine the 640 field work with the 650 class work. I turned in some of the 640 field work aon august 20, 1990, plannig to expand that work and combne it with 650 on family dynamics-family systems. I had been looking extensively into addictions, dysfunctional family dynamics, depression; and chronic pain as a possible addiction or certainly a contributing factor to the dysfunctional family system.
As part of my recovery from the accident and resulting head injury, I did an Across America bicycle ride May 12 through June 27th, 1991, feeling very strongly the need to begin a healing of my spirit as well as the mind and body. The whole perosn concept of health.
With permission, I am now combining the 650 class work with the 630. I have expanded the personal work of 640 because it too is a part of my recovery. I have completed a quilt as a visual story picture of my impressions of the Across America ride. I have included a scrapbook-a blueprint of the quilt and Across America ride impressions as they occurred while collecting fabric for the quilt, along the route. An in depth report about my experiences on the Across America ride, my recovery and how this all relates, I feel, to materials in both classes complete this body of work.
My primary focus will be about recovery from head injury, and the difficult journey that is involved. All chapters of this learning report will be approached as they relate to head injury.
Head injury has meant many thing to me. I worked ina rehab setting with head injured persons prior to my accident. I said many times " I never want to be head injured," only to discover, following this injury, that there had been at least three or four previous head injuries! The results of multiple head injuries are accumulative, instead of the assumed 95 percent total recovery following a first time mild brain injury of 20 to 25 year old. I was informed I had two risk factors. Namely, I was not 20 to 25 years old and this was not my first injury. Recovery has been slow, sometimes agonizing, certainly discouraging as I became increasingly aware of defects that won't go away. Yet, there is encouragement as I once again draw closer to God, find increasingly the need to rely on Him. Hie is in control, I don't need to be. However, coming from a dysfunctional family system where control meant survival, it has been difficult, somtimes impossible to believe God really is in control. This is going to take constant work.
I feel I have been knocked out of the fast lane of life, into the slow lane. As time has gone by, I'm learning to enjoy the slow lane, certainly more time to "stop and smell the daisies." But just as often, I try to get back into the fast lane, only to collapse in tears, fatigue and frustration, realizing I really can't go back anymore.
From Wonder Woman to the Bird Woman of Mary Poppins, that's quite a change, especially when folks look at me, listen to me and cna't really see any defects or disabilities. I am one of the "hidden disabled." Pressed for an explanation of my "disabilities", many well-meaning folks laugh my disabilities off with, "Oh, I've suffered from that for years," or "All people as they age suffer those problems." But, I KNOW, and close friends and family who knew me before the accident, know there is a difference, there are some deficits.
In the beginning, head injury meant increased headaches, a body that didn't work to my satisfaction, light and sound sensitivity, noise and group confusion to the point of isolation. I simply could not tolerate going out very much. Activities, as church were impossible, and still are to some extent. Too much noise, too many people, too much going on, too much confusion. "Too much," seems to be the better part of my vocabulary.
On the Across America ride, dinner and route rap were many times pure agony and sometimes the fatigue increased, out of the question. So, I was never really able to interact with the group as a whole. I never really joined or felt a part of that community-that 47 day family. I was, I felt, always on the fringe-the rim of the wheel of the cycling community. With time and rest, I have been able to tolerate some small groups, for short periods of time. Also, some noise and sounds. But silience, sweet golden silence is still my most comfortable environment.
For me, the weirdest, perhaps the most traumatic part of this head injury was the first couple of months. I was alive, "me" was not. I looked like "me", but inside my head was a stranger, someone "me" didn't know. The stranger inhibited my brain and body for what seemed the longest tiem. Then slowly, ever so slowly, from the base of my head some of "me" occasionally seemed to come back. Brief periods of time when "me" could say "ah,there you are" then, just as quickly, "me" would shut down, disappear, be lost to the stranger that now lived in my body.
As time has past, some of "me" has come back almost full time. Still, occasionally, I'll awaken from a nap disoriented. I'll walk and talk, but I'm not sure who I am, where I am or what I'm supposed to be doing. Disoriented, until set to some simple task, some routine activity that requires little thinking, the brain gradually comes back to join the body and I can again "feel real."
Probably the most constant, frustrating and continuing problem for me has been fatigue. No longer do I have the energy or capacity to do the amount of things I use to. Physical activity is tiring, but it also gives me enegy in that, it is my connection with "normalcy," "reality"-what is real for me. It's the main positive connection with the old me. Beside the more oxygen I generate to the body, I figure, the more healing potential to the brain. For the brain, as with all the body, runs more efficiently and survives better on a good supply of oxygen.
But it is not the physical energy I find so fatiguing as the brain energy. To try and concentrate on reading a book and then remember enough of what I've read to make sense and be able to express the contents in words, verbal or written, takes great effort. To watch a movie or video, to be able to sit through the entire thing in the first place, is an accomplishment. To then try to remember some of the story line to relate to someone else or write an interpretation is a major effort. Pictures in my mind are there, but to translate those pictures into words is at times something else.
Word finding problems, following and maintaining a conversation, interacting with another person or on an intellectual basis, leaves me exhausted and my mind on overload, sometimes within an hour or less. I could run, walk, swim or bicycle half a day compared to the amount of conversation I can handle without overload. Some days are better than others. Stress and fatigue hasten the overload. Rest and enjoyment of companionship make longer conversations possible. Diversion and rest breaks in conversation help. My processing skills may take hours or days. It's improving. It continues to get better, but fatigue and pain easily overload and disorient me, and shut-down follows...and then as ow, I lose the trend of thinking, the ability to keep going, and so in frustration and discouragement I wonder if I'll never finish anything. But thigns are getting done. It's taking me more time, more space, but for me time and space are warped-weeks are months, a month is forever or just a day; days and weeks get mixed up and run together-there is no distinction of one day to another. Sometimes, the hours drag, sometimes, thy fly but I'm never quite sure what happened to either.
According to the neuropsychologist I'm working with for cognitive rehabilitation, my strengths are weakened...it is harded to do what I really want to do because I need more motivation now. The initiation of tasks is harder.
Monday, 2/17/92 9:15 am
I feel like the quilt, and the learning report especially, have been done in a ball of cotton candy, hard to get a hold of, hard to stay with it, and the foam totally hides the end at times. It is like running in slow motion, wanting to move, get it done but never quite getting there. The quick sand, or bog of the jungle, keep pulling me down, in "freak outs," and dodrums when I least expect certainly don't want either.
The concentration, staying with a task for a given length of time is harder. It has gotten better. In the beginning 10-15 minutes was all I could handle. I think now, with the learning report corrections and rewrite, I've been able to go for an hour, maybe a little longer.
Along with the strength being weakened; my weaknesses are exaggerated!! Not a real happy thought, at times of discouragement.
Doing this learning report has been very difficult because it has forced me to look to focus on my deficits-the "hidden challenge"...as the "hidden challenges" related to my recovery. I can no longer deny the obvious and that brings a sadness, a grieving, but I am a survivor. As I survivor I need to:
-accept that a piece of me is missing;
Further, I need to test these new patterns and programs in the non-competitive, non-threatening environment of therapeutic recreation, so that I may rebuild and accept this new life with self-confidence, and once again enter society in a useful, productive and self-accepting way to the glory of God.
THE BEGINNING OF A ROSE
{PICTURE}
BY ALISA PALOMBA
DECEMBER, 1986
October 2, 1986
In closing the book:
After I have thought about this for over three years and got sad and depressed and felt like nothing, I have realized a lot of things. Because my mind is getting better, my feelings are getting better, I am progressing and I have come to the conclusion that I am getting better daily. My hand, my legs and my back are getting better.
The other conclusion is if I didn't believe in God Almighty, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, I would not be much at all.
I hope that you like my book. The feelings, emotions. The sadness and happiness. I hope you realize that your problems and your happiness and you will come together to reach a conclusion as I have.
Thank you.
Since I began volunteer work at Hilltop in August, 1985, I have enjoyed the many hours Alisa and I have shared. She is a very special friend.
I just want you to know that the writing, the thoughts and words are Alisa's. the only editing I have done is putting in punctuation where necessary.
Diane Gibson
Preface
Thank you God Almighty
Thank you Jesus Christ
Thank you Holy Ghost
You have turned my life around
Every day is just a beginning
and the flowers are still blooming,
the trees are still growing
and so am I.
Alisa Palomba
10/2/86
Part One
THE THORNS
October 7, 1985
What sadness I am feeling inside. But I haven't cried outside. It hurts and I feel sad for the person inside of me, but I can't cry. Eventually, I will cry and be happy. Because if feel it inside and it hurts and I feel uncomfortable and I cry only inside.
With the mad, I hate the man that hit me. He has three years probation. It makes me so mad to think of him...but it also makes me mad that my mom and dad treat me differently, like a baby, a teenager, and not adult-like. Every parent treats their children as children, but I am an adult and I should be treated this way.
October 20, 1985
I feel sad today, tonight I feel hurt and torn.
I tried to get on with my life, really try, but today something goes wrong.
April 24, 1986
I am hurting tonite because I have thought a lot about it and I am a person, but I am also in a wheelchair. People say things to me that make me mad or sad and I keep it inside the whole time. Every once in awhile, I get my feelings out and that feels good, but mostly I keep them inside and it makes my heart hurt.
Sometimes I am no one, nothing, and sick. I really want to go to school but nobody has talked to me about it and I can't do it all myself. So I feel I can't do things right. I cna't read the directions. And so I am sick. I sit scrunched over in my chair and it makes my back hurt. If I could read, my mind would be alive! But it is not. My right leg is still asleep and it hurts, which means it is coming back, somewhat. But still I am depressed.
So, in the mornings I only get dressed with clean clothes, brush my teeth, and comb my hair and that is all. It is like being blind, no talking, no feeling, no seeing. Sometimes I don't want to look in the mirror. I feel like my face is ugly. I am glad when I tke a shower and the mirror clouds up.
But, every once in a while, my eyes have feeling and when I talk to others I talk with my eyes. They feel confident. Because I think I am pretty good at what I am doing, so far.
I think I am pretty good at helping others. My language is coming back much better too. If I get the feelings out and talk-people look at me with inspiration!!!
There are four men in my apartment building that I want to be friends with. We have coffee, we play cards, but that is it. I want just to be friends.
Part Two
THE BUDS
October 7, 1985
Sometimes I like them all. They give me a lot of exhilaration. People, animals, morning or night. The scenery; it is all good for me.
Then I love my friends, family, outside and me. I love my family, my mom and dad, my brother Randy, Julie, Nickolas, and Sandra. Those people are like my heros. They take good care of me. (Before and now, although my mom and dad were scared of me, treating me like nothing...later).
My friends, those people are good to me. When I was in the hospital, actually I was in three hospitals, they came and took good care of me.
I love the outside. The sea, the beautiful clouds, the fresh breeze and the mountains.
And...I love myself. All this time I hated myself and about two months ago, I found out I love myself. It is the most educating thing finding out, but I love myself!
October 23, 1985
I hurt, I feel torn and terrible.
I hate it when other people treat me differently. I am a person. I have a lot of things wrong, but I am trying to get better, not torn down.
I have a lot of things right with me too. I write poems, I talk to people whether they hurt or feel good or they feel sad or sick themselves.
January 28, 1986
I am sad today. This morning on the television there was a serious explosion; the space shuttle. There were seven people on board who died within a minute and a half.
The challenger. Into space from the launch pad, the fuel tank exploded and flame patterns filled the sky. The solis rocket booster blew up. Christa McCauliff and Judy Renek.
The whole nation is in a state of shock.
April 10, 1986
When I first started the book "Joni", I got sort of depressed because I didn't understand. After a couple times, I understood everything and I felt it in my heart as well. When Joni hurt, I hurt. When Joni felt good, I felt good. I have experienced a lot of the same feelings: loneliness, trying to block things out, feeling like nothing. Since Diane has read me the book, I understand everything - and I understand myself more!
The book about "Joni" is my inspiration. I am going to write a book describing my life before my accident and now. It is because of Jesus and God Almighty that I am still living and happy.
Thank you.
May 1, 1986
I don't hate the man that hit me, I feel sorry for him. And if I didn't believe in the Lord I would hate him and I would hate myself. The hate would make me feel and look ugly.
Before, I hated myself so much that everyone else was good and naturally, since I hated myself, everyone else looked good. I hated myself so bad...I can't say it enough.
If my face would have been different, my smile, I would have liked myself and if my heart were bigger, I would like myself. Because my heart kind of died, it shrunk. Everyday it shrunk a little bit more.
I used to look for companionship with other men and they hurt me worse. I thought I would feel good. I hated myself. Then I would be so down on myself. Down, Down, Down. I just kept feeling more down.
While I was in Denver General, Jesus came to me and said, "I am Jesus." I said, " I don't believe in you so go away."
He said, "If you believe in me you will live a happy life forever and if you don't believe I me, I will go way and I don't know where you will be."
I thought about it for about 2 or 3 minutes and I said, "Th-th--thank you d-d-dear Jesus. Amen."
It was dark and it was light and it was blah and it was colorful and Jesus is in my heart now, and he gives me the strength and the power to go on.
November 29, 1986
I feel good tonight. I wrote to all the people and to all the family. The Lord Jesus and Holy Ghost are with me. Amen.
Part Three
THE ROSE
May 1, 1986 (continued)
I still did not care for myself. I didn't love myself or trust myself until I met God Almighty. I prayed to him for a very long time. Before he talked to me I said to him, " I am mad, sad,ugly, and don't like myself." And God said to me "Listen, you are perfect and everyday you get a little more perfect." Don't worry about yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow. But worry about minute by minute, day by day. I love you."
And now I worry about the future, what I can do tomorow to help others.
I am thinking about it. I am trying to do what is right.
October 30, 1985
I feel good! Everything went right for two days and I feel number one!!
Yesterday I walked up and down the curb two times for about 40 minutes-then I swam and I did better than ever before! I love myself!
It still makes me sad though, that some people treat me like I'm sick or when they stare at me. I AM different but I think I am better than before. I wish other people could feel that way.
It makes me mad that I don't go anywhere, like to the concerts or other recreational things. It's because I am in a chair and two or three other people are in chairs. There should be at least one or two other people to help. Then I could go whereever they go-with help. Then two or three days later they say, "You can go next time."
I am not sick. I am not paralyzed. I do not vomit all over. I am a person like everyone else is a person and I wish other people would respect me.
I am proud of myself and a lot of other people help me. I talk and speak beautifully because of the speech therapist, but also because of myself...first!
I walk because of the help of two or three other people. But if I did not care for myself, I would sit in the chair the whole time.
March 20, 1986
I rested today. I wrote a poem and it was nice just to rest.
October 30, 1986
The book is over and the writing is over and I feel good about the book.
There is alot of happiness and sadness, hurt and love in my book. But I am glad that I wrote it all out so that you could all read it. And, although the book is finished, I have jst started my life.
I see outside the beautiful scenery, listen to the beautiful sounds, and experience the beautiful feelings.
Before, the past was only a dream...good or bad, it was only a dream..
Now I have my life to live for. To wake up every day and smile. To feel good about myself. To go through the day and be happy. If I need to think about something- I can think that way-but I will not worry.
I will feel proud of myself instead of feeling like nothing. I will feel caring in myself so that I can help other people, and I will feel like something within my own self.
I am happy, loving, and I find the time to be concerned about other people and I am really glad.
Until we meet again, whether I see you or hear from you or just think of you, I hope this book helps you to feel good about yourself. If you don't feel good about yourself, no one else will. Thank you.
October 30, 1985 (continued)
The places I have gone and the obstacles I have overcome!
If I didn't have anything to worry about, I would still be in a hospital or a nursing home.
But, I am proud of myself. The accomplishments I have made and everyday things. I wake up happy everyday, and I go to bed happy as well.
THOUGHTS ON THURSDAY, 1/26/95
7:25 a.m.
How many of us within the first 2 years of our accident, brain injury, sought the Lord, felt closer, wanted to be closer to Him, but as time and healing moved us on, we again became caught in the "bus-i-ness" of life? How do we return or staytrue to those early feelings? that renewed sense of awe and appreciation for the gift of life? Time spent with our, creator, GOD, coupled with the responsibility of helping others and this world. In the practice of "helping others", also helping them to know and appreciate our creator, GOD, the giver of life, love, and the beauty and god within us and the world. The letting go of the past and the yesterdays, that will be no more; the hope and anticipation of tomorrow: the acknowledgment and acceptance of what is today, this is life, as we live in GOD's grace.
7:36 a.m.
Parents grieve the loss of their child, that still is. Brothers and sisters want to grieve the loss of their sibling, but are not sure how, or if it is appropriate. The survivor/child-the sibling, grieves the loss of himself/herself, having to start all over again to learn to wlak, to talk, dress him/herself, to eat, to play, feel, touch, be...Who are they, NOW? Who are they to become? Are they invincible or very fragile, or some where in between? As time goes on and they continue to grow, re-learn, learn more, to do, to be, how do they integrte that personn before, with the perosn they are becoming, now? How to incorporate and use what is still there, with what is new and forming and becoming, NOW?
The whole family grieves separate - could they not, through understanding and love, grieve together?? Help and assist each other in the grieving process? But how if neither understands what the other is grieving?? Communication then, the courage to speak out and make known one's thoughts, feelings, expressions, however, haltingly, unsure or unknown...Parents may know something of grieving, siblings may not, but may learn. The survivor/child-the sibling, may not know how to grieve, either. They may know what to grieve, but not how to do it, or what to do. So the family, together, learn and grieve together, and separately. Teach each other how to grieve, and grieve, but then from that grief and loss through communication, comes hope, renewal, and life again.
How the mind moves and changes from one heartache to another, one thought group to another, when working with others, trying to meet deadlines, and maintain balance and peace within.
LIFE
Life is fun
Life is good
we should have fun under the sun.
I like to sing like a wing on a bird
its fun to be alive and well
I haven't achieved acceptance of myself. I want to achieve this. I would need hope for hte future. Hope for being skinny. I do have this hope. It is confusing like God is confusing. I am terrified if I blow it again. I don't have faith in myself. I don't want to go back to Olarys, the people in Denver, who run the school for people who have hypoglycemia. Not that is was a bad experience. Because while there I learned a whole lot about myself. This was two years ago.
Now I can show others that there is hope even when it looks hopeless, I was active before now I am not, I'm just fat. I was really skinny before.
I think I have gained something and lost something. I have gained insight into myself. I don't like myself, because I am fat. I am also knowledabe. I used to an exceptional swimmer.
I was sent here because you should show people how to do it, they can do it. If you don't how them they remain fat. You have shown them how sugar will affect their weight, It affects you not only physically, but mentally sugar can distort and block thought processes.
Strange as it may seem, good things in my life. I have looked into me and seen the light to why all of this happened as it happened. To encourage other people. Be like Joab of the bible. Even when in your darkest times, there is always a light and God is that light.
Family and friends are important, mainly family. because I didn't see any of my friends, only some friends. I am glad it happened when it happened b/c it showed me what my goal is. My goal is to help others. It happened to me when I was 16 years old. It was w/ my boyfriend and he died.
Since my injury my spiritual beliefs have changed. I understand now why what happened happened. It happened because God has his special person in store for me. My special purpose is to teach others Love.
I would share that maybe head injury in not as bad as it first appears. Its not all black, its like a near death experience. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am known for getting ideas across in as little space as possible. Everything, the way I talk, the way I think. If you don't believe me you can ask my teachers.
C O Michael Godito
Since my injury I feel I have a calling to spread God's love for and to all his beings. Since the Almighty was the only One who could save my life I feel I owe him a big one......
I am frustrated most, because some people don't always follow through on what they sy they will or what they will do with and for Marty (me). They often say they will come by and visit with me when in fact they never had the intentions of following through with their intentions. Sure on the phone they say that they are my friends, but when it came time for them to be physically in my presents they are no where to be found, they always get side tracked and leave me stranded with no place to go. Kind of like I have a new "partysuit" with no party to go to.
Marty Jimenez
If I could affect others, I would tell them that life is precious. We should achieve things for ourselves so that we can share our lives with each other. If there is a person in a wheel chair. I can come and help them. If a child has cancer, I can hold her.
I want to follow God's dreams for my life. My soul is fine because I welcome the Lord and I am a child as well.
When I pray with the tears in my eyes, Jesus carries me. That's why my dreams are so valuable to me.
I would like to teach disabled children in the mornings. The children will be angry and deny life, but I have the love of Jesus in me, so I can understand and help them.
Every day, I am glad to be alive, to learn to live and to love. I will be strong, kind, and gentle, because I know I need my education. Today is the day I live for because God and my family are with me!
I understand in some ways, in other ways I don't understand. that's why everything I do today is important to me.
My friend sometimes comes and we cry and love. The feeling of understanding each other is so symbolic for getting along in the world of destruction and grief.
When I smile and say "Hi, how are you doing?" people relax. There is still frustration, but we are all frustrated in some ways. I wish we could help our neighbors as ourselves. Sometimes I hope we need to be together like a family and help each other out. (I'm praying for that.)
Thank you sincerely,
Alisa