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This art piece is a visual expression created in Boulder by two members of the Denver Head Injury Support Group and one Boulder resident. The composition directly portrays one group's experience of life after sustaining traumatic brain injury (TBI).
(Written by Mr. Anonymous...)
The story of "THREE MEN" depict the abysmal darkness to which we all fell victim, It tells of how we feel the ever present groping paws of negativity. The sun is our hope, our saviour,our dream for a return to our celebration of joy and aliveness.
We three live between the two forces, using our relationship with each other as one of the many critical supports to our healing and living with brain injury.
Our "Creation" expresses each of these qualities, it is our hope that you can receive those qualities as you view our work: love, independence, self-esteem, confusion, doubt, faith, family, support, confidence, persistence, irony, commitment, pain, humor, hopelessness, depression, emptiness, bleakness, reality, meaninglessness, brilliance, aloneness, barrenness, sharing, lack of romance, inadequacy, an appreciation of the meaning of life, the desire to educate others about brain injury, sensitivity to ourselves and others, deep feelings that ,"I'm wrong'", a surreality, spiritual strength, turbulence and peace.
From left to right, the light spirituality of the ghost like figure is meant to convey a light, friendly and joyful spirit residing in all of us. The center figure is a clown, he is intelligent and uses that to create humor and playfulness; an expansiveness sharing happiness with all. The right most image is of gloom. It depicts deep depression and hopelessness which is a common "phase'" through which many brain injured people en-route to greater joy and healing.
This work was designed and executed,by the three of us...with a little help from Bittin Foster, thus it is an expression of synergy and art as a healing mode. People with Brain Injury are sometimes hesitant to talk about it since there are so many other facets to their personality. Yet for a brief period of time, the three of us focused on our disability "even though there is so much more to us" hoping to share with you so that you can have a greater understanding of Traumatic Brain Injury(TBI). And hopefully get to know yourself better. The entire group find tremendous benefit from understanding ourselves through self expression. We have to accept the way we are, although denial has overcome some for long periods of time and anger and frustration sometimes fill us.
We hope you enjoy and expand by viewing our expression..and perchance, you can understand.
My crash was both negative and positive. My growth since has been a good feeling: gaining maturity. Finally!
When I was found after crashing my "BIRD", I was a John Doe thought to become a vegetable-or dead and I hoped (at least, I'd hope, if I were awake and could think) for death-not vegetation.
But thanks to being rescued by my nutritionist, anti-drug, anti-doctor mother, I can walk, talk, speak, think, etc.
Frustration comes easily to me, but so does happiness and smiles. I realize I can't do alot of what I could in my B.C. life, bu tknow, too, that I can and do enjoy other things.
People don't frustrate me too much; except for the people I live with! And I think that's my inmaturity surfacing. I don't handle frustrations, anger or unfavorable situations well. Meditation helps & overcomes often.
There are times nowadays when I really feel a spiritual presence. I know that there are other dimensions and other worlds than those tangible to us. Maybe when we die we'll learn about them-or at least, more about htem.
In my B.C. life I had a couple of "callings." Music was my strongest one and acting was an enjoyable mint, too. I was lazy in music and so let it slack too much to continue and so am not-nor had, become -a musician. Since my crash, my biggest regret is having quit music, but I'm still an artist and love my photography and poetry. Not much of a callling
There are so many positive things in life, and we have to recognize and realize that too often we dwell on our negatives, things we can't do, instead of the positives, things we can do! This fact applies to relationships with the opposite sex, our friends, and even our family.
Be self assertive, but not overpowering, respect others but most of all, respect yourself. If someone you don't know doesn't understand, try to educate them, if they don't want to learn, its their loss, NOT a criticism of you. Two of the hardest things in life are
In spite of the bad things that have and will happen, if we learn and grow from our experiences, they cn be viewed as positive.
But, I enjoy writing and am working on a book of my photos and poetry, and have ideas for other books too.
I also enjoy helping other disabled people and counsel a couple of guys-may do more and may learn more about it.
Good things happen all the time. Enjoy being a humorist-a clown too- and want to perfect that.
Since there's no casts for broken bones people don't believe my dysfunction. I always have to defend why I'm not working or such-People don't beleive how debilitating depression is. I want you to know how hurtful it is to be told, Just get up and do. A truly, clinically depressed person can't, get up and do things. That's just the half of it-the rest is mania I'm a "manic depressive" as a result of my brain injury and it has cost me my livelihood, some friends and........It has also taken my self esteem and confidence....I've found so little understanding of Brain Injury that finding a psychologist who was experienced was tough and finding a psychiatrist was even more difficult.
For now Im working with combinations of pharmacuticles are still, after two years-that has not been successful. It is an ongoing frustration, not knowing if tomorrow will be manic or depressive, and the anger about that is just something I endure, I rarely share the truth of how I am for fear of being rejected - I feel like damaged goods. So I 've become isolated - It is difficult to reach out - So, I'm making the best of a lousy situation -
FRIENDS by Rennie Hart
In my life before the crash
before that tragedy
I had many friends with whom I could share
share myself
no matter what
Now, I lead another life
a life so different from before
It's so lonely now and then
and quite a frustration
to make it on my own.
Sure, my family's there
and sympathetic "friends"
some from my old life
and some brand-new,
but a real friend has been so hard to find
one who can share-
not just give
and not just take.
Now I've met some people
who are like me
-more or less-
And through these people
and especially with a few
I now have the beginnings
and the growings, too
of real and lasting friends.
It feels good! Thanks CHIF
ATTITUDE!
Attitude
What a nasty word!
How often do parents growl
with an evil tone-
CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE!
But, as a person grows up
the mystery of that word unfolds
and as one's attitude changes
the beauty of that word is told!
If a person's attitude shines
his world is pretty and clean
but if the attitude within is bad
everything in life goes wrong,
everyone around is dumb,
and words are spoken with a scowl.
Attitude
A state of mind
A state of heart
A state of being
Attitude
A good one can make
A rainy day cheerful,
A long trip enjoyable,
A boring evening fun!
LONELINESS
Being lonely's no fun!
But being alone is...nice.
When you're lonely
you're crying for love
you're wishing and wondering why.
But when you're alone you have your time
you have the moments needed to do.
Being alone gives you the chance
to meditate and to work your own pace.
Loneliness causes anxiety,
causes lines to grow on one's face.
Loneliness makes a smile happen less,
and so the frown seems right.
I enjoy solitude!
Being alone brings a sigh
a sigh of peace and content
allows me to whistle a quiet tune
makes me feel my time's well spent.
No, I wouldn't give up the chances I get
for a moment or two alone
but, I sure am glad I don't have tobe
'cause I'd get lonely-
and who wants to be?
HANDICAPPED?
a poem by Rennie Hart
You may call me "handicapped"
or view me as "disabled"
but, if you can't see my qualities
my abilties
my virtues
your handicap outshines mine!
I don't care what you call me-
but , please look beneath!
We all have something that doesn't work,
doesn't function as well as we'd like;
but let's try to look beyond those faults
to see the beauty that's underneath!
My abilities will make you pause
and ask if I'm handicapped at all.
Am I really disabled
when you see what I can do,
and not ridicule what I can't?
Try not to put me down
for what I just can't help...
Don't try to find my faults;
please don't look for what wrong with me,
but, simply enjoy what right!
DEPENDENT
No one I know likes to always ask
will you take me...
...help me...
...do for me...
It's so hard
to be so dependent
when in our lives before
we thought we were so free!
In our lives before,
our family and friends
depended on us-
or we depended on ourselves
and nobody got in our way!
Now, I depend on others to provide
for me
when it used to be the other way.
It's tough to cope
another "Post Crash" challenge-
but, it's one that can be learned
to accept (at least).
The longer I live my "After Crash" life
the easier it seems to get
to look at it all
from the others' eyes.
But, to keep it all in mind
is still a little too tough
so, I'll try to keep it in my heart
instead!