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Workshop Twenty

Many Ways

"Many Ways"

May 1995
Three-dimensional, word-laden collage, acrylic on masonite
36" x 48"
Head Injury Project, Leyden House
DenverColorado

Participating Artists

Michael Hawkins
Jim Kinney
John D. Salazar
Michael Crosse
Eric Pusch
Francine Fabrizio
Cynthia R. Baker
Sue Ellen Wilson
Deanna VanWagner
Blanche Stolworthy


Art Piece Story

This art piece was created by ten members of the Head Injury Project, Leyden House. The composition directly portrays one group's experience of life after sustaining traumatic brain injury (TBI).

The journey begins on the left side of the composition. The blue wall represents the doors of the past. The participants felt they'd either came from a past of pain or of possibility and self goals. Fighting is written on the wall to symbolize the fight many endure to live through a traumatic brain injury. The trauma of living with a brain injury is identified in the floor space with the image of hell's fire. Depression, frustration, dependence, loss of independence, paralysis and low self esteem fill the pit of hell as these are the negative feelings of people since their injuries. The back gray wall symbolizes the wall of death. Skull and cross bones hang over the black door of death. A window representing family is also on this wall. The gray color represents both the positive and negative experiences people have had with family members. Some experience great love and support, others have been abandoned, and still others have been disregarded as a human. A bright reed barrier divides the composition, representing the barriers that must be physically and symbolically overcome to enter into a new life of light, love and life. The huge door on the right, opening to the sun, mountains and plains, represents the door of new life that is possible. The sun lights up the room with brilliant yellow. The sun over the mountain tops holds the word God within it. Almost all participants have experienced a new-found relationship with and deeper meaning for God. Words that assisted the members to look at this door of new life and appreciation are written on the large yellow door. The participants wrote the words that spoke to each in a meaningful way. Mom, love, courage, assertiveness, positive attitude and strength are written on the yellow door to represent the many positive concepts that have supported the participants during recovery. Self responsibility is written at the doorstep that leads to this new light and life. Not trusting others is also a component of life today, and it is also strategically placed under the window that looks out towards the future vision of light and love. Maybe this is the window those who are not ready to trust must observe the light through, instead of walking through the door themselves. Compassionate family/friends and will are resting safely in the plains. This art piece is a powerful expression of the complexity of life after traumatic brain injury. It also portrays hope to pass through doors of the past into the present with light and love.



Participants' Stories

After I regained the concious ability /privilege to realize my new condition it occurred to me that this was largely a result of my past mistakes and advice I had ignored, such as I had been advised to avoid the driving of the particular driver responsible for my accident.

signed Eric Pusch

Several years post accident I was requested to relate my story to a group of students; I hope my advice didn't fall on deaf ears. I'm most frustrated because I allowed my accident to occur.


Shit! that's the key word. To describe my life. My son too. That's another key word. I am alive That's good, not dead uh-uh. I can only remember bits and pieces of my...I don't know if it was an accident or what?! I want other people to know that parts of me are fine. I am alive. I DESERVE RESPECT. I AM BORED. My life is like nothing I don't even know my son's age!-Justin and Paul. My dreams are about electronics, designing circuits, and I want to be D.J. I want people to know that Brain Injury sucks-me, I'm stupid, but my mind is smart-Just because my speech is not coherent does not mean I am not smart. BECAUSE I AM! I AM ALIVE AND HAPPY. (Obviously I am!)

Michael Hawkins


I am very grateful to be alive despite my near fatal T.B.I., a highly motivating feeling
which really helped motivate me to wholeheartedly pursue my new-found opportunity to meet my new Pastot and thereby catch up on alot of missed info., which I am now trying to apply to my life.......


OUTLINE OF MY LIFE

Nothing seems to be going right. I tried to make things go right and all the sudden everything just dissapeard, friends, stuff like that. I am unhappy where I'm writing, sometimes I'm unhappy at Leyden House. Sometimes things go wrong that aren't my fault. Things that are right seem to be turning wrong. So I doen't even do anything/sy anything anymore.

When I was on the basketball team in my high school I went to State, almost national. We went to California. Since then, sometimes every thing has been not alright. I live one day at a time. When I got up today I just live as the day goes on. I don't count the week, just day by day.

I do believe in spiritual beliefs. They sort of give me a guideline, day by day. Because I believe in God. I would tell people not to vote for the President we have, but he's doing alright. I was going to vote for someone else. I would tell people not to have a brain injury because they are no fun. Not to save anybody because they will be shot insted. I saved my sister's boyfriend & all of the sudden, I jumped and flew across the room and I got shot instead. My sister is 5.6 years older than me. She picked me up and carried me into the house......


I want to be deserved. People don't want to help other people. I used to help others but now I want to help them more. Because when I had the head injury people wanted to help me but I said NO!! I want to do it myslf! and help others. If they need something they can ask. I used to be my own person. I want to give advice. I like myself when I am living on my own- I want to learn to do my own thing AGAIN!! I wnt to work again, I've said that for the past five year, I need and want to earn my own money! I WANT to be independent I am happy tobe alive, Every body thought I would die. I want to help myself. I was hit by a Drunk Driver, his brother was a lawyer so he didn't go to prison.

BLANCHE


Since my injury, people can't hear what I am trying to say. Even though I try so hard! Its frustrating!

In the future, I hope to be able to talk so people can understand me.


FROM THE MOUTH OF JOHN SALAZAR:

After my accident, I came out of my coma, they told me I had $2400 in the bank. My older sister told me to come love with her, and she would take care of me. She took me to my other sister's house where I was abused. And then she put me in Heritage. Where I was able to get independent living. What makes me most frustrated is that people don't hear what I am trying to say. Since my injury my beliefs have increased because my Lord brought me out of my coma, and death. I would tell people that they should be grateful for what they have now. Including the abiltiy to use their arms and legs. I have felt closer to God since my coma, and accident. I am not sure what he wants me to do. But I am trying to do good. My dreams are to get better and to do right instead of wrong. and to become as independent as possible.

I want to tell people to enjoy what they have.


Deanna

  1. I am grateful to be alive, after all I have been through......I have a family that cares about me and my brothers that stay by my side to help me through this to. The hospital really did alot for me to as far as guiding me and talking to me.
  2. I am frustrated most because people...don't understand what I've been through and what Im still going through sometimes. I'm being treated better and better all the time though, believe it or not.
  3. I am frustrated most because I...can't remember that well. My memory is pretty bad. I've jsut got to give it some more time.
  4. Since my injury, my beliefs in spirituality has...gotten alot stornger. God was the only oen that helped me through this. I believe one of these days he's going to heal my double vision so I can see normal again.
  5. The story of my brain injury...my brother and I were in a serious car accident. my brother was taken in an ambulance and I was taken in flight for life.
  6. The story of my acute recovery from my brain injury...I feel I have a calling to help people in my life.
  7. Since my injury, I feel that I have a calling to...affect others I would lead them to god and tell people about him, he'll change your life.
  8. My dreams of the future...I would like to become a model. someday, that's my dream.
  9. The devastating effects of lessened cognitive abilities....I want others to know that T.B.I. makes you lose out on alot of time in your life, because there's alot of things that you can't do.
  10. It's strange because alot more god things happen to me quite alot. More then before my accident. That makes me real happy.


I was just a tiny guy, I was eight years old. We were playing hide and seek on our street and they didn't like her boyfriend. They shot at him and I got shot instead. My parents were in the house. They took me to the hospital and they took the what ever it was out of my head. I was just trying to save my sister's boyfriend. I thinking about being scared. I loved my sister so much. I'm not in love with my sister but I love her. Some people don't understand where love is. I understand from my point of view. Sometimes it gets hard - love, even the frame of it. It's uneven for they don't understand what love is. Love is like, from my point of view, a person that is in love and not. Your in love with a person a person like yourself, say I'm in love with you, but your not in relation


I am happy to be alive, although I've had a brain injury for 19 years. I see life differently. Its hard, I can't talk well still, and I cna't write now. I'm alive. Life is different to me than before the injury. I worked two jobs, skiing and waitressing. I was happy then. I feel a different happy now. The bible, I strongly believe God is with me. I was in a coma for 1 month. I got a coma and I lost my speech. I've gained some back, but it's slow. And I can't talk well still.

Other people do not frusterate me. I am calm. I accept myself.

I bumped my head in this car and hit my head on the left temple and I injured the right half of my body. I was the passagner. The injury happened to me when I was 21. I have a special relationship with God. People are most important. My parents are important. The live in Lakewood. I visit with them. I live here at Leyden House. I want to go into work somewhere. In the future. I woudl take any job now. But if I had my choice I would work as a sales woman. A long time ago I worked in an Art Gallery, office work. I liked this. I want people to know having a brain injury is frusterating sometime. And I appreciate life more since my injury. I think I still keep getting better. I feel good that i'm getting better. It feels good to be able to talk again. I went a year without words. As strange as it may seem, good things happen to me. I believe in God. My family is good to me.


"One Day at a Time"

"Deal with Today first, and Tomorrow when it comes"


  1. I am grateful to be alive, after all I have been through......Shurley
  2. I am frustrated most because people...butt in too much
  3. I am frustrated most because I...can't just walk
  4. Since my injury, my beliefs in spirituality has...hightened
  5. The story of my brain injury...don't get into the drunks....
  6. The story of my acute recovery from my brain injury...live
  7. Since my injury, I feel that I have a calling to...be careful who they ride with
  8. My dreams of the future...to be somebody worth talking to
  9. The devastating effects of lessened cognitive abilities....that it's not good sleep for 2 1/2 months, you miss too much
  10. .......when least expected

Michael Crosse



If you were part of this fantastic creation and want me to edit or add anything about your art piece or stories on the web site, please contact me!
- Bittin

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