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An artistic expression created by one courageous woman, Shannon O'Hara, to visualize her ascending healing journey. The stairs on this piece represent 9 puncture wounds to a woman's brain, caused by domestic violence, they also represent the reconstructive surgeries and stages of recovery that followed. The obstacles on this picture represent her struggles.
When the girl is on the bottom stair she is curled up because given up trying to get away from the abuse. There is also a huge obstacle in front of her. Its so huge she just quit trying. The obstacle is the abuser and herself. Every time she would try to get away from the abuser, he would follow. So instead of leaving she would tell herself that he loved her and would never hurt her. Then after being back with the abuser for a few days, he beat her until he thought she was dead. But she didn't die. So she spent a few months in the hospital. Then she went to a rehabilitation center to learn EVERYTHING over again.
She was beat so badly that her brain was punctured 9 times. So she forgot how to walk, talk, eat, and write She spent 6 months in a rehabilitation hospital, to learn again. Next she went to outpatient therapy for another 15 months, then after that, 18 months in work therapy to be retrained to be learn how to be a functioning human, she then will go back to school, to wake her brain back up. After she completes school she is hoping to get training, to help manage a case similar to her own, that she just made it through.
The rays of hope kept trying to shine through, but the obstacles kept blocking hope. But little by little she got past the obtacles and started making achievements. What kept the girl was many reasons. The first was the power of god, all the love and support from everyone. The possibility of a better life. And every day she makes some sort of progress by learning how to believe in herself! She could not have made any of this progress without believing in herself or others believing in her!!!
Shannon 6-94
People should know what a serious issue of domestic violence is. Before I was hurt, I often heard about women being beat to death by men who supposedly loved them and I thought to myself, he'll never do that to me. I thought he loved me too much, but he did it to me. On the bed we shared as man and wife, he beat me on the head with the butt of his rifle. Over and over again, until he thought I was dead, and ran away. I underwent 11 hours of surgery. For six weeks I was listed in critical condition and remained in a coma. This was followed by six months in the rehabilitation institution. I've had seven reconstruction surgeries to date with more scheduled in the future. I've also had to deal with the emotional and psychological adjustments to the changes in my physical appearance and mental functions. I miss the beauty and spontanisity I had before. Becaue I've suffered a tramatic brain injury I can't just take off when I feel like it. I can not drive a car and I can not cross the streets like could in the past I am easily confused now. Support from family and friends, self help groups like A.A. and psychotherapy have guided me through this difficult journey.I've learned I have more to offer than physical beauty. I have strength, and I have an inner beauty. I'm happy now. Sometimes for no reason at all. It's such a new experience for me, sometimesI don't even know how to act. This happiness is real and I won't let any thing jeopardize it. I have courage and I use it to speak out against domestic violence. It can happen so fast, and when it does the course of your life is changed forever. There are warning signs though. When we love our men, we don't want to see the warning. There are resources out there for us, we just need to be willing to get out. No one deserves to be battered like I was. As far back as I can remember I felt like I was an outsider, because my father was a drunk and would abuse my mother, she had her first mental breakdown when he left her to take care of the five kids they had. While she was getting better at a half-way house all of us kids were split up into different homes, because know one had room for five kids. I remember thinking that this was my fault and I've carried that with me four a long time. So I started drinking when I was 12 years old and found two abusive relationships. The first one lasted from when I was 13 to 19 years old, with a drug dealer, I quit school when I was 16 and after that I pretty much did nothing but drugs and drank so...
My name is Shannon O'Hara. I am twenty-four years old. I married Troy Mendez September 14, 1991. Troy is 6' 5" and weighs about 310 pounds. From the beginning of our relationship, he was jealous and possessive. He was always by my side, even when I was just spending time with my sister, cousin, and family in general. He didn't like any of my friends, but he always tagged along anyway, rather than ahve me go anywhere without him. One morning, after we had been drinking heavily the night before, I woke up with scrapes and bruises on my face. I aked Troy what happened and he said I fell down the stairs. Later, one of my friends told me he pushed me down and kicked my under the table at a bar. I was not happy in our marriage, and after about a year, I left him. But I felt sorry for him, because he was so depressed. So I went back to him. thi went on for a few months. I woudl leave, feel sorry for him, and go back to try and make things work. In May, I left him and was determined to make a fresh start in my life. I was staying with some friends and one night one of the guys came in and said Troy was outside peeking in the windows. He and my other friend went outside to confront him and he ran away. This scared me. I was afraid, not only for myself, but for what he might do to my friends and family.
A week later, I was back with Troy, thinking THIS time we could work things out. It wa Memorial Day and we went to my sister's for a barbecue. He had to work that night, so I asked him to drop me off at a friend's huse. That's all I remember.
When I woke up, it was the middle of July and I was in a rehabilitation center, with a different voice, in a wheelchair and unable to comprehend what had happened to me.
I kept asking everybody what happened to me; I thought I had fallen out of a car. Finally a nurse told me that Troy had beat me on the head with the barrel of a shotgun. He hit me so hard and so many times that he shattered my skull and my brain was punctured nine times. my arm was proken when I raised it to protect myself and I also suffered a broken collar bone. It took eleven hours of surgery to put me back together again. I still don't remember what happened and I hope I never do.
I just feel that the only thing that helped me feel good about myself was counseling and support from my friends and family. I feel like there's no way I could have gotten through this without it. But now, I feel strong mentally and I'm happy now, a feeling I never had when I was married. I used to feel like he ws always going to look over my shoulder. Now I feel that no matter what, i'm going to hold on to the faith I have, to make all my dreams come true.
In the past, I felt I was too poor to go to school, but I figure that was just another excuse, because the opportunity for an education is out there.
I never thought I could be happy without a man, but I feel differently about that now. I don't have to accept a relationship with someone who makes me feel like trash. For the first time in my lfie I like myself.
I still live with fear. Before this happened, I never thought anything like this would happen to me, because I thought he loved me too much to ever do such a thing. But he showed me different. I just want people to listen to me. I could've been dead now but I feel God wants me alive and happy. I really feel that deep inside. So my message is not to go back, it could cost you your life. I just want to help another woman avoid what happened to me.