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An artistic expression created by campers at Camp Bruce McCoy.
They gathered together each day to create a collaborative artistic expression of camp life while visiting Camp Bruce McCoy.
Their goal was to educate the world through their writings about life after brain injury and how they each survived it.
This is the story of camp Bruce McCoy., which is located at the Triple R Ranch in Chesapeake, Va.
Those involved in this story are people who have survived many different types of Brain Injuries.
This camp helped us experience recreational activities safely and properly. Such as; Horseback riding, horse shoes, chair aerobics, art, low ropes, arts and craft, frisbee golf, swimming, archery, canoeing,fishing, board games and evening activities where everyone gets together to socialize and relax.
None of us have to worry about our physical needs because we had a fully capable medical staff in camp with us twenty four hours a day.
We had a completely capable staff of counselors to help us with bathroom necessities, dressing, showering, eating and helping us to get from one location to the next.
The Triple R staff saw to it that we were fed three square meals a day in a very spacious indoor cafeteria.
We would really like to thank the Entire Triple R Ranch staff for their hospitality and for going out of their way to help us enjoy our stay. The staff saw to it that we had wheel chair ramps, packed surface for wheel chairs and very nice sleeping accomindations . Once again we would like to thank the Triple R Ranch for opening their hearts and doors to those of us who are brain injured.
As we think of those who we need to thank for our great time at camp, let us not forget Harry Weinstock. Thanks to him we each were able to meet new friends and do a lot of recreational activities that some of us can not do at home. So once again thank you Harry for the great time we had.
My Mask
It is the way I talk
The sunglasses on my face
The manner in which I act at times
The way I walk
My suave and careless masks
My anger and my apathy
My selfishness...and my narcissism
And at times even my complacence
At times my happiness is not even mine
Beneath these false and shallow vestiges of a shield
Lies my real self
Who is blinded by the light
Who stumbles and falls before your eyes
Who has eyes that have seen too much
Who is as fragile as a child's delicate heart
Who lives for everyone elses happines for she knows
selfless acts are as sweet as a lover's caress
But through all these things
The emptiness and aloneness reign over her
soul
And never allow her peace...
No matter how fast I run
Or how high I jump
I can't escape from this fire
I can't escape from it's tendrils
As they run deep into me
My whole body has become infested
By this insidious hunger...
This need
And I can't tame these flames as they cry out
As they scream like obsequious maidens who have been blinded
and left to languish and brood by themselves.
We become what we pretend we are.....
I have finally become that which I have sought so long
in my pretending and dreaming.
I have become the tiger and the dragon.
For now I know the power and strength of action.
And yet I also know the wisdom and idealism that cause
these actions to occur...
Saraya
I have seen many things.
The past flashes like a bulb from a camera.
The present flickers like the flame of a candle.
The future burns like the sun.
And my dreams...
My dreams are like a multifaceted strobe light.
And yet I've never seen the sun rise.
I came from violence, a long time ago
and yet as you see me this is not apparent
you see that which I have become
a figure of self control
who exercises rule over her environment as a tiger her domain
you don't see the inner conflict
for as you know I am a master of disguise
as it should be so it shall remain
for this is refined.
Who I am now, not who I was then
Love is paramount, violence is ephemeral and fleeting.
SARAYA
To be so lush and extra ordinary as thou art is to be an angel.
To be so intoxicating a flower as to cause a drunkennesss to overcome all who surround you.
Yet this not be the fault of anyone.
To simply drink of your aura is to drown in your essence.
And pray never a rescue be attempted.
To speak with you is to dance amongst the clouds.
And to be caught in your eyes for even the briefest glance is to surely
experience a piece of heaven on earth.
SARAYA
You've wiped my tears away
And yet caused me to cry
You've brought me to this world
And yet you've destroyed me
And my world
You're the reason why I would die
You're my curse
And my salvation
BECAUSE OF YOU
I AM ON MY KNEES
TAKE ME AWAY FROM MYSELF AND
TEACH ME TO LOVE WITHOUT
THE PAINS OF THE PAST RESURFACING.
MORTALITY
I'm drowning in this ocean of desire
With each breath of my air becoming
My killer
Around my neck, a heavy chain of lust
Weighs me down to the ground
I cannot break free
Nor do I wish it...
I'm drowning in this ocean of desire
My body aflame with the sensations of
Submission
For this is but my dream
To drown in my manifestations and thus
Have it ended and over...
But no, I shall not have this fantasy
Reality
For a part of me forbids it
As does she
Manifestations older than time itself
Haunt my soul
Which is older than this body that entraps it...
UNINHIBITED
Her softest breath is a breeze
Her sigh a thunderclap
The beating of her heart an earthquake
But when I close my eyes these things
Vanish
For I cannot see them
Nor feel them in this world
For my lover lives in the realm of the dead
In this world she is but a ghost
A coffin or crypt full of sensual memories
That I only see in flesh at night
When she comes to me
Then we both go plague the night
As one
Tearing the will of man in two
Savoring the taste ruling the night as she rules this body
I long for someone to conquer me
To have myself succumb to another
To embrace in a storm as it rages
Around us, Around me, within me.
To soothe the wild creature in human robes
And mend my heart to one
This hunger has stripped me of
My humanity as well as inhibitions
Leaving a vampire in it's wake
This is real can you tell
Can you feel it
I am not emotionless I simply lack
The knowledge of the extent of emotions how to
Feel to express
Forcing me to crave anything I find
Desirable enough to care about
Passion
Flesh
Friendships
Innocence
Sating desire
My Love
Our embrace
Once so pure...
We considered it heaven
To share this bond
Even if it was only for the moment
Now that embrace is what we seek
The sanctity of being together
Of sharing our passion
And bodies
With one another
As well as our desire for life
And our hungers for the night
To love as one
And feast upon the pleasures of the night
To sate our hunger...
SARAYA
SCARS
PENETRATE MY FLESH
PLUNGE THROUGH MY SOUL
SOME ARE REMOVABLE
OTHERS ARE NOT
SCARS
THE SINS WE COMMIT
THE WORDS WE SPEAK
THE LIES WE BELIEVE
AND THE WAY WE LIVE
BECAUSE OF THESE
SCARS
SOME WE'RE BORN WITH
OTHERS WE GET ALONG THE WAY
IT'S WHAT MAKE US IMPERFECT.
For far too long I have waited....
Flesh without expression
senses without fear
grasping
for that impossible image
of surrendering yourself
to your hunger
And becoming stronger
Through the submission
Longing for a release
Or perhaps a new expression
In which to focus all this hunger
That has plagued your soul
For too long
Far too long...
Humanity's Offspring
An eternity can be so long and lonely a thing to endure all alone.
But from loneliness grows strength and character.
Through this we become cold as ice and hard as nails, we grow apathy for those of whom have hearts filled with fear and full of ignorance. We become that of which we fear and that of which we respect; a voracious monstrosity, perfect and
yet...imperfect. Humanity's offspring. Where rules do not apply as they should or things that should matter to you actually hold very little relevance...But love is paramount for from it's promise of fulfillment...we become human
Please Hear What I'm Not Saying
Don't be fooled by me. Don't be fooled by the face I wear. For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks, masks that I'm afraid to take off, and none of them are me. Pretending is an art that's second nature with me, but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled. I give you the impression that I'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within a well as without.That confidence is my name and coolness is my game, that the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one. But don't believe me. Please. My surface may seem smoothe, but my surface is my mask, my ever-varying and ever-concealing mask. Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence. Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness. But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it. I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear of being exposed. That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind, a nonchalant, sophisticated facade, to help me pretend, to shield me from the glance that knows. But such a glance is precisely my salvation. My only salvation, and I know it. That is if it's followed by acceptance. If it's followed by love. It's the only thing that can liberate me.from myself, from my own self-built prison walls, from the barriers that I so painstakingly erect. It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself, that I'm really worth something. But I don't tel you this. I don't dare. I'm afraid to. I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good, and that you will see this and reject me. So I play my game, my desperate pretending game, with a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within. And so begins the parade of masks, the glittering but empty parade of masks. And my life becomes a front. I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm aying. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying, what I'd like to be able to say, what for survival I need to sya, but I can't say, I dislike hiding. Honestly, I dislike the superficial games I'm playing, the supreficial, phony game. I'd really like to be genuine and spontaneous, and me, but you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand even when that's the last thing I seem to want, or need. Only you can wipe away from my eyes the blank stare of the breathing dead. Only you can call me into aliveness. Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care, my heart begins to grow wings, very small wings, very feeble wings, but wings. With your sensitivity and sympathy, and your power of understanding, you can breathe life into me. I want you to know that. I wnat you to know how important you are to me, how you can be a creator of the person that is me if you choose to. Please choose to. You aloe can break down the wall behind which I tremble. You alone can remove my mask, you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic and uncertainty, from my lonely prison. So do not pass me by. It will not be easy for you. A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls. The nearer you approach me, the blinder I may strike back. It's irrational, but despite waht the books say about man. I am irrational. I fight the very thing that I cry out for. But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my hope. My only hope. Please try to beat down those walls with firm hands but gentle hands-for a child is very sensitive. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. for I am every man you meet and I am every woman you meet...
To Know me...
You must see like the blind
You must listen like the deaf
And you must understand that
everything is sacred
Wize Saying
by Pelton Edwards
What ever it takes
No fear
Name all the worst things-then count your blessings
patiecnts wining all time thimgs
remember what you promest your lord
never give up
be at ease. it will come out in the wash
it could be worse just because it 's bad now don't mean it always will be.
Steve's list
At Camp Bruce McCoy we can do a variety of things. And we can even participate in tie0dying t-shirts as a memento of our experience. Two years ago they moved the camp so we could be riding horses everyday. There's even a waterway running through the camp where we can go canoeing everyday. However since it is such a big event and all the campers and staff participate, once a week we all have a campfire.
This is the first year that we were able to get involved in "Art with Bittin" becaue this is her first experience here. Later on today maybe she'll learn what Earth Ball is all about.
For me my only goal was to master my fear of horses. Even though one hurt me six years ago I still believe they are the most wonderful and most powerful animals on earth.
I got scared when I had a seizure Sunday, opening day, but I was placed at ease when the medical staff made sure I was ok.
Cabin Life was very nice. I met so many new face who I now can call friends.
Food-well, I really can't complain cause the salad is helping me with my diet. One night I couldn't eat what was on the menu so Harry asked if I could have some leftover Spaghetti. So as I said- I can't complain.
The two things I'm most grateful for are the activities that are indoors and last but not least-God granting me the nerve to face my fear and ride a horse named TED. thanks Camp Bruce McCoy. By Denise Cartrette
5/21/96
It is freedom to be away from my family/parents. It gives me some time to be with my friends at camp. I love my old camp friends and I love meeting new camp friends with the same problem or even worse. I just love to go horseback riding, swimming, canoeing, bot I love that dance that we had on Monday night. It was awesome! So smile about it that all I can do. Is because I'm having so much FUN!! Boy, do we have some Great Counselors!! I rode the horse that I rode Milk Way and its good exercise for you. The food here is so so but I came prepared with some of my own food that does not have to be refrigerated. Got to go for now. Having fun!! I miss my parents but I'm doing okay without them. Later, Kelly Beale "Winner K"
BIA:
Give me a challenge!
Take me canoeing-shall we dance-just smile-let me take you fishing-put on that sunscreen-socialize-have you taken your meds-would you go to sleep-anyone for a good cold shower-eat your food-take a trip around the Earth World - the 3 F's - food-friends-fun-be yourself-nuts-trees-laughter
love-
Christy Saville
I enjoy camp life mainly because I am surrounded by GOOD people I call friends! With the help I get from those friends I enjoy myself with the confidence (sense of security) and feeling that I'm okay!
Because of the confidence I gain and trust in the friends who offer me help I participate in "Activities" like horseback riding and swimming whih are scary to someone physically challenged as me being in a wheelchair with the use of one arm. It's comforitng to always have a qualified nurse close by!
-camper Jen Best
CAMP MCCOY IS BEAUTIFUL AND ITS A PERFECT PLACE ND HAVING A BEAUTIFUL PLACE FOR LIVING AND HAVING A NICE TIME. HORSEBACK RIDING AND SWIMMING AND PETTING DOGS. LOVE DOING ARCHERY AND I LOVE SHOOTING BULLRISHORTING THROUGH BULL RING
JEANNINE
THE MOSQUITOS ARE TERRIBLE HERE AT CAMP. THEY NEED THOSE ELECTRIC ZAPPERS. THEY CAN GET THE PEOPLE AT A STORE THAT SELLS THEM TO DONATE
I'M STUCK IN A BIRD. I'M WORRYING ABOUT WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN I LEAVE HERE. I HAVE ALREADY MET PEOPLE
I WILL TRY TO HAVE A GOOD CHRISTMAS
EVERYONE
The elevators
fishing, playing poke
friendship and a kiss
pool. sports, and horsebackriding
wheelchairs
music
margarine
dining hell
we no longer have to go to school
being at camp.
Pennington
Camp McCoy was fun it had many crafts. I liked horseback riding. I liked canoeing. I liked to paddle, the water was cool. Dennis is fun, and nice. very nice. He is very good to me. I get very mad because I cannot talk yet. I will talk soon. I like pretty smiles. I got two ringers in playing horseshoe. I sleep alot at camp. well rested
Forgiveness
...came from a place not made with human hands...
...no person has seen..or walked...to such a place.
...Forgiveness had a royal blood line...Father, Holy Ghost, love, hope, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, charity...
...Wise men fell to worship forgiveness...a king searched diligently to kill him.
...Forgiveness fasted for 40 days and 40 nights...
...Forgiveness often had no place to lay his head...yet...
...Forgiveness knew no beggar he wouldn't help.
...Forgiveness was often a stranger to his own countrymen...
...Forgiveness was mocked, spit upon, and cursed...
...Forgiveness was falsely accused in a court with trumped-up charges.
...Forgiveness knew no shadow of truth he wouldn't welcome.
...Forgiveness sought not his own will...
...Forgiveness was not found in the company of men...
...Forgiveness was not found at school or college.
...Forgiveness was not found in a closest friend...
...or in a father, mother, brother, or sister...
...ex-wife, husband, mother-in-law, or father-in-law.
...Forgiveness was not found in a favorite chruch...
...or pastor or counselor or teacher.
...Forgiveness has no price tag...is no respecter of persons...has no timetable.
...Forgiveness buries the past...forever and forever.
...Forgiveness has no eye of judgement...but...
...Forgiveness knows the sorrow and sees the on-driving madness of divorce...
...and brings greatness and healing...
...Forgiveness frees every inprisoned creature.
...Forgiveness...77 times 7....................................77 times 7!
...Forgiveness...crucified over 2000 years ago...
...pardoned all the sins of mankind.
...Few people knew the blow he gave to mankind cursed.
...His last words...
Father...forgive them...for they know not what they do.
...Forgiveness...The Son of God...Jesus Christ...Our Savior.
Dennis Day
....sunburn, music, dancing, a place canoeing, swim, good food
Fun in the sun, alot of room to have fun,
People around to help you.
Nice conversation, exchanging thoughts,
this is what I like most a way to sought
places to go, people to see, much ado about everything
This is enough to make me sing.
Exchanging experiences and ideas this is a way to change;
change enact in people's ideas, and hopefully their actions
a way to give families a most deserved rest.
La, La, La.
Where does that time go?
It goes by too quickly
Tim Needham,
Summer 1996
Silence
Burning my heart
My mind
There is no noise in this room
Only silence...
Locking everything out
As well as forcing everything in
Silence
A battlefield where the war rages on
In my heart
And in my mind
As my heart aches to love
My soul longs to feel
Anything
But all I feel is silence
The silence that ripped my heart
In two
The silence that created me...
LOVE MADE ME
Love is loss
It is when you lose yourself in another
You willingly surrender yourself to this
Like many others in the past
I have lost myself
Both in love and what I am
I did have reluctance at first
But to taste something as raw
And untamable as love
You must be willing to endure
Willing to sacrifice...
And as for what I am..I'm you.
Kaleidoscope
The color were of coincidence
Yet, not the same
We were trapped in a Kaleidoscope
of both time and space
We really felt spaced
lost without a trace
Like a dog without a bone and
a rebel without a cause
we were breaking all the laws
Just you and me all alone
Radiating like the golden rays
of the noon day sun
and sparkling like the thin ice
of a brand new day
All the colors seemed to say
Be jubilant and have a joyful day.
Camp Life
Well you wake up every morning and pretty soon your facing the hot sun.
But you know you are just going to have some really mind blowing fun.
There is alot to do such as go hunting with a knife and gun
Or you can go swimming or just play in the noon day sun.
Misty Mountain Hop
I have climbed every mountain just to see whats at the top.
It did not matter how high or how low
I just knew I had to get to the top
it is said that there is a silver lining to every cloud
and a key at the mountain.
This key will enlighten you and set you ready to hop.
Love is good because without love there would be no beginning.
You first need to love yourself, then you can love someone else.
Mature love is also important, it is like family love. And it is good people around you all the time that you can really depend upon.
There are different types of love
casual love is very important.
casual love is what makes people
live to one another. Casual love is love you have between friends
casual love can be change to romantic love
but don't get it mixed up with lust
terry
The times and life of Cori Mitchell
Since my injury my life has been totally different; all I have done so far is work at home, mainly with therapy, and try to please people. Mainly by trying to meet other's expectations. For the sake of legality-this is being dictated to W. Oliver.
Therapy has lasted for over eight years, I am now 25 years old. The reason I am in therapy now was due to an automobile accident I was involved in when I was 17 and a senior in high school. This was a drastic change for me since I was very happy, content, and had everything in life that I needed. This delayed my entrance into Indiana University until recently. I haven't and won't give up. One goal that is slow in achieving is the bettering of my own memory.
Horseback Riding
I've spent the last 2 times at camp McCoy riding my horse at the stable. This horse is a great big, broadback sliding. He handles very nicely and responds to my every command. He has a broadback and his name is Ted. He's a slow, gentle horse who seems to understand what I want him to do. I enjoy a trailride on Ted because of his good nature. I used a Western saddle, which makes an easy mount for me and a good ride. I like to combine a trail ride with a ride along the river. The scenery along trail rides is really beautiful.
I love the swimming, the cookouts, the performing of songs, the different groups that cam to be with us, the different activities like basketball and softball games and roasting marshmallows.
I like the many people that I meet at this camp. Even if you are disabled and in a wheelchair, everyone treats you like you are normal.
Jeb Stewart VI
I need a drink of water.
Have you taken your medicine yet?
Do you have your sunscreen on?
Is Jeb asleep in the water/ WAKE HIM UP SO HE CAN EAT!
Where is the professor?
Has anyone seen the professor? He will run.
Hurry-up and get out of the shower.
Do you have a plate?
I'm free, I'm free, I'm free at last from brain injury and all those things that hold me back
I walk tall with a straight back. I can now look like in the face and deal with it day by day.
My life is now full of solution not problems. Friends not enemies. Camp and its activities has been a major help in reaching this new life.
Don Willey, a happy camper
May 1996
How Bruce McCoy means so much to me: Is because I get to meet new friends, get to gossip with old friends and counselors. I enjoy seeing friends and counselors. I enjoy seeing Harry and everybody else. It is SO GOOD to see Tara Festermann! We write back and forth to each other. Tara called me about camp the other week. We just talked up a storm. I enjoy to go swimming, Horseback Riding, Arts and Crafts and everything else we do here at camp! Welll, some of the food is a different story! That's okay I came prepared with some of mine! I REALLY enjoyed the dance the other night with a live DJ. That was awesome!! Okay bugs are another story I would sya. That's why we spray ourself with OFF! You would too!! But Boy I'm so glad I'm one of Tara's roommates. I also enjoyed making Tyed-died t-shirts. I'm enjoying myself big time! So that's where I leave off! La La La!
Kelly "Winner K"
Turn, Turn around
The New York Times and The Washington post say everything in black and white with no shades of gray.
Ross wants to be boss.
Quack, Quack, Quack
THE BEAUTY OF CAMP
By Camper Don Willey
A stroll in Greenlush woods
squirrels climbing trees birds feeding upturned mouths.
A raven soaring above trees. An owl hooting at the moon. A shower in the cool evening. The sun shining, blue sky white clouds.
No pollution, traffic, strangers, pushing shoving going nowhere.
Flashing blue lights and the wail of the rescue squad. Hospital emergency rooms.
Pills, pills in a bottle-put a bandaid on it.
Who cares if Willard Scott says rain with no sunshine for a week.
hr/ >
Humor Corner
by City Cab
Caplins Haley
THE WAY WE MEET
We meet at Hallowing Point Park. The mountains May 4, 94. Then we started to become friends then we dated for a year. Beginning June 1, 94 we be 2 years and good Friday we went Steady. Michelle, thanks. Charlie is a handsome man and Charlie thinks that I am most beautiful woman I treat Shelly like a Queen and Shelly treats me like a royal prince
Kelly Beale (Winner)
Friendship is good here at camp with everyone. You meet new friends and you get to see old friends and counselors that you have met before. I mean the counselors and staff that we have met and it's neat you get so close to them. "In which I is." The counselors are real good helpers to me and to us all. See I look forward for camp when it is time to come. I get to see my true friends!! We owe thanks to thanks to Dena and Wallace our meds when we get sick they tend tous. Smile!! Thanks for being VERY nice to us all!!
Yours truly,V Kelly B
Laura's Cat Corner
I love cats and kittens. Especially kittens but they are so rambuncious. I an just so in love with their personalities. They seem so sincere.
When I was younger I feel head over heels in love with my pet kitten.
His name was Tiger and he influenced me.
He was an adorable baby that grew into a beautiful cat.
His beauty has never died even though he is not with me anymore.
Wheather
By Jeremy Brown (Jay-Bee)
When everyone arrived at Camp Sunday it was very hot. Later it started getting very dark and started thundering it then started raining very hard and fast. It got kind of muddy and wet the next morning it rained again. Bitten said I'll think it will be nice on Tuesday.
My Jobs
Anthony Hintze
I wokr at Food Lion. I'm a bagger right now, I just started work a week before camp. I have work experience from previous jobs. Before I worked at Burger King but prior to that I worked at Pizza Hut washing dishes and carrying the billboard. But now I'm working at Foodlion and getting tips. It OK working there but I'm hoping for more responsibility after camp. I'll work faster and harder to get more responsibility.